Author: Vanessa Hernandez
Why changing a habit isn't always as simple as having more willpower.
Have you ever found yourself doing something you promised yourself you wouldn't do again?
Maybe it's spending hours scrolling on your phone, reaching for alcohol when you're stressed, turning to food for comfort, or engaging in a behavior that provides temporary relief but leaves you feeling frustrated afterward.
You might tell yourself, "This is the last time," only to find yourself repeating the same pattern.
If this sounds familiar, you're not alone.
Sometimes, the behaviors we struggle to change are connected to deeper emotional experiences, stress responses, and learned patterns.
The good news is that therapy can help you understand these patterns and develop healthier ways to respond.
One approach that may help is a specialized form of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy called the DeTUR Protocol.
Why Do We Keep Repeating Behaviors We Want to Stop?
Our brains are designed to seek comfort, safety, and relief from distress.
When we experience difficult emotions such as anxiety, loneliness, sadness, boredom, or overwhelm, we naturally look for ways to feel better.
Sometimes we develop coping strategies that provide immediate relief but create problems over time.
For example:
You feel overwhelmed at work, so you spend hours scrolling through social media to escape.
You experience loneliness, so you turn to alcohol or another substance for comfort.
You feel anxious, so you engage in repetitive behaviors that temporarily help you feel more in control.
You experience emotional pain, so you seek distractions rather than addressing what's underneath.
Over time, certain situations, feelings, or environments may become associated with these behaviors.
Eventually, the response can feel almost automatic.
This doesn't mean you're weak or lacking self-control. It means you've developed a pattern that may need attention, understanding, and new ways of responding.
What Are Triggers, and Why Do They Matter?
A trigger is something that activates an emotional response or urge.
Triggers can be external, such as a particular location, person, time of day, or situation.
They can also be internal, such as a thought, memory, physical sensation, or uncomfortable emotion.
For example, someone who struggles with excessive phone use may notice that they automatically reach for their phone whenever they feel anxious or bored.
Someone working toward recovery from substance use may notice cravings when they experience conflict, stress, or reminders of past experiences.
The trigger itself isn't always the problem. It's the emotional response and learned behavior connected to it that can become difficult to manage.
Recognizing these connections is an important part of creating change.
How Can EMDR Therapy Help?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.
It is a psychotherapy approach best known for helping people process traumatic experiences and distressing memories.
EMDR uses structured procedures that may include guided eye movements, alternating taps, or other forms of bilateral stimulation.
The goal is to help individuals process distressing experiences in ways that reduce their emotional intensity.
EMDR is recognized by the World Health Organization as a treatment option for post-traumatic stress disorder (World Health Organization, 2023).
Although EMDR is most established as a treatment for trauma-related conditions, therapists have also developed specialized approaches to address cravings, urges, and compulsive behaviors.
One of these approaches is called DeTUR.
What Is the DeTUR Protocol?
DeTUR stands for Desensitization of Triggers and Urge Reprocessing.
Developed by Arnold J. Popky, DeTUR is an EMDR-based approach designed to help individuals work with triggers and urges associated with addictive or compulsive behaviors (Popky, 2005).
Rather than focusing exclusively on stopping an unwanted behavior, DeTUR helps identify what activates the urge and supports the development of more adaptive responses.
The process may involve:
Identifying triggers. Understanding the situations, feelings, thoughts, or memories that activate an urge.
Establishing positive goals. Focusing on how you want to feel, respond, and live rather than only on what you want to stop doing.
Strengthening emotional resources. Developing a greater sense of stability, confidence, and ability to manage distress.
Reducing the intensity of triggers. Using EMDR-based techniques to help decrease the emotional charge associated with specific triggers.
Supporting healthier responses. Practicing new ways of managing difficult emotions and situations.
The goal is not to eliminate every uncomfortable feeling or craving. Instead, it is to help you experience greater choice in how you respond.
Research on DeTUR specifically is still developing, so it is best understood as a potentially helpful component of treatment rather than a guaranteed solution or replacement for established addiction care.
What Does This Look Like in Everyday Life?
Imagine someone who notices that every evening after a stressful day, they feel an overwhelming urge to disconnect by spending hours online.
They may recognize that the behavior interferes with sleep, relationships, and their overall well-being, yet still struggle to change it.
In therapy, they might begin exploring what happens just before the urge appears.
Perhaps they discover that feelings of inadequacy, exhaustion, or emotional overwhelm are consistently present.
Through EMDR-based work, including DeTUR when appropriate, the therapist may help them address the emotional triggers connected to the behavior.
Over time, the person may become better able to recognize the urge, tolerate the uncomfortable feelings underneath it, and choose a different response.
Instead of automatically reaching for their phone, they might take a walk, connect with someone they trust, practice a grounding exercise, or give themselves permission to rest.
The important change isn't simply spending less time online.
It's developing a healthier relationship with difficult emotions and feeling more in control of personal choices.
A published case study has explored DeTUR for problematic internet use, although a single case cannot establish effectiveness for everyone (Bae & Kim, 2012).
What If My Habits Are Connected to Past Experiences?
For some people, repetitive behaviors are connected to unresolved emotional experiences or trauma.
When we've experienced significant stress, neglect, loss, or trauma, our nervous systems may develop protective responses that continue long after the original experience has passed.
Behaviors that appear unhealthy today may have originally developed as ways to cope with overwhelming emotions.
For example, avoiding feelings, seeking constant distraction, or relying on substances may have served a protective purpose during a difficult period.
Recognizing this connection can help shift the question from:
"What's wrong with me?"
to:
"What has this behavior been helping me manage?"
This change in perspective can create room for curiosity, self-compassion, and meaningful growth.
Not every compulsive behavior is caused by trauma, however. A therapist can help explore the combination of emotional, behavioral, social, and biological factors involved.
Healing Is About More Than Stopping a Behavior
One of the most important parts of changing an unhealthy pattern is understanding what you want your life to look like instead.
Maybe you want to:
Feel more present with your family and friends.
Manage stress without relying on unhealthy coping strategies.
Feel less controlled by cravings or impulses.
Develop confidence in your ability to make choices.
Build healthier relationships with yourself and others.
Experience more emotional balance and peace.
These positive goals are an important part of the therapeutic process.
Recovery and personal growth are not simply about removing something from your life. They're also about creating a life that feels meaningful, connected, and manageable.
What Does the Research Say?
Research into EMDR for addiction-related concerns is growing.
A 2024 meta-analysis found that EMDR-based interventions were associated with reductions in cravings among individuals with substance use disorders (Martínez-Fernández et al., 2024).
Smaller studies have also explored DeTUR for specific behavioral concerns, including problematic gambling. One case series reported improvements among four participants, but the authors emphasized the need for controlled research (Bae et al., 2015).
These findings are encouraging, but they do not establish that DeTUR is effective for every addiction, compulsive behavior, or unhealthy habit.
Additional high-quality research is needed to understand which individuals may benefit most.
Is DeTUR Right for Everyone?
Not necessarily.
Every person's experiences, emotional needs, and treatment goals are different.
A qualified therapist can help determine whether EMDR or a specialized approach such as DeTUR may be appropriate.
For individuals experiencing substance use disorders or significant compulsive behaviors, treatment may also include cognitive behavioral therapy, motivational interviewing, medication when indicated, recovery support, or other evidence-based interventions.
EMDR-based urge reduction can sometimes be incorporated into a broader treatment plan.
The most important thing is finding an approach that addresses your individual needs and supports your safety and long-term well-being.
You Don't Have to Stay Stuck in the Same Patterns
Changing a behavior you've relied on for months or years can feel overwhelming.
You may have tried setting limits, making promises to yourself, or using willpower alone, only to find yourself returning to familiar habits.
But change doesn't always begin with trying harder.
Sometimes it begins with understanding what you've learned, recognizing what triggers your responses, and developing new ways to care for yourself.
Therapy can provide a supportive space to explore these connections without judgment.
You are more than your habits, your urges, or the ways you've learned to cope.
With appropriate support, greater awareness, and consistent practice, it is possible to build healthier patterns and move toward a life that feels more intentional and fulfilling.
Ready to Explore a Different Way Forward?
If you're struggling with unwanted habits, compulsive behaviors, or emotional triggers that feel difficult to manage, therapy may help you better understand what's happening beneath the surface.
You don't have to figure everything out on your own.
Reach out today to learn more about EMDR therapy and whether it may be a helpful part of your healing journey.
Vanessa Hernandez, LSW, CADC
EMDR-Trained Clinician | Embrace Counseling Center
References
Bae, H., Han, C., & Kim, D. (2015). Desensitization of triggers and urge reprocessing for pathological gambling: A case series. Journal of Gambling Studies, 31(1), 331–342. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10899-013-9422-5
Bae, H., & Kim, D. (2012). Desensitization of triggers and urge reprocessing for an adolescent with Internet addiction disorder. Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 6(2), 73–81. https://doi.org/10.1891/1933-3196.6.2.73
Martínez-Fernández, D. E., Fernández-Quezada, D., Garzón-Partida, A. P., Aguilar-García, I. G., García-Estrada, J., & Luquin, S. (2024). The effect of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy on reducing craving in populations with substance use disorder: A meta-analysis. Brain Sciences, 14(11), 1110. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci14111110
Popky, A. J. (2005). DeTUR, an urge reduction protocol for addictions and dysfunctional behaviors. In R. Shapiro (Ed.), EMDR solutions: Pathways to healing (pp. 167–188). W. W. Norton & Company.
World Health Organization. (2023). Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD): Psychological interventions—Adults. https://www.who.int/teams/mental-health-and-substance-use/treatment-care/mental-health-gap-action-programme/evidence-centre/conditions-related-to-stress/posttraumatic-stress-disorder-%28ptsd%29--psychological-interventions---adults
Disclaimer: This article is intended for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health assessment, diagnosis, or treatment. EMDR is an established treatment for certain trauma-related conditions, while research into DeTUR for addictive and compulsive behaviors remains limited. Individual results vary.
